REVIEW: Malmaison Oxford Hotel – A Prison That You Won’t Want to Escape From

Today’s article is from TLFL regular contributor, Callum.

Whether you call it a Jail, Gaol or Prison – most will want to be avoiding these for any period, let alone overnight. Yet, Malmaison have crafted a property in Oxford that ticks the right boxes: central location, good rooms and a wonderfully unique design that would be hard to copy. Here’s my review of Malmaison Oxford.  

This one-night stay was provided by Malmaison to the author in return for this review. Malmaison did not receive advance approval or review – the first time they see this is the same time we publish online. 

Getting to the Hotel 

Despite visiting many a great city across the globe, Oxford has always eluded me until I needed to visit this historic place for an event. Malmaison Oxford is found five minutes from the city’s train station, with frequent connections to London Marylebone. Coming from South Essex, it was easier to drive and park up at the hotel, which sits just outside of the tiny ‘Zero Emission Zone’. On-site parking must be booked in advance and costs a steep £34 per night, so you may wish to find an alternative if you’re here on a longer stay. 

Unique Hotel Grounds 

The hotel was formerly the home of HMP Oxford on the grounds of the historic Oxford Castle, which closed in 1996. As part of a wider redevelopment, the castle became a visitor attraction and the HMP Oxford became Malmaison Oxford in 2006.  

The historic nature of the prison and castle makes for an imposing entrance, providing you can ignore the people going for brunch at the Slug and Lettuce near the gates. Even if you are not staying at Malmaison you can walk around the area as it is quite picturesque. 

The hotel proper is split into three key areas: 

• Zone 1: Part of the original building where the entrance/lobby can be found. This is the ‘wing’ of the prison where I stayed. 

• Zone 2 dubbed ‘House of Corrections’ – a modern extension (i.e. not one of the original cell rooms).  

• Zone 3 – home to the prison cells now known as premium hotel rooms. 

Zone 3 is probably the most interesting part of the property because of the history that has taken place here – and primarily because I’ve never set foot in a prison environment in my life. During darkness, this cell area is lit up in attractive purple colours.  

The Room 

We stayed in the room ‘Solomon Wisden’ – named after the jailer who had allowed the first escape of a female prisoner in over 600 years during the eighteenth century. This large room with wooden beams suggests it was more suitable for the jailers than the jailed. 

Starting with the double bed, it was comfortable and I slept well in this room, but only after I turned off the radiators that were on full blast. Unlike some hotels, at least the radiators could be easily switched on and off as needed. Accessible USB-A ports were on both sides of the bed alongside reading lamps. Power outlets were less well placed on the skirting boards; however, it was close enough that you could just about reach them while on the bed.  

Near the door is a solid wood desk with another large reading light and Nespresso coffee machine. I wasn’t at the hotel long enough to need to work on this trip and test the comfort of the seat – it should be suitable enough for a few hours of work. The location next to the window does at least mean you can capture some of the minimal winter sunlight during your stay, as well as peek at the castle. All the curtains in the room were of the blackout style. 

If you’re more of a tea connoisseur, a kettle is in the wardrobe. It would probably be a bit neater if they had both the Nespresso, kettle and associated power outlet in here rather than having to take it out to use it. Minor gripe, I know. 

Opposite the bed, you have the television, two armchairs, and a prison locker-style cabinet. The chairs were more than comfortable enough, but the design of this part of the room just felt a little off. Small tweaks in the location of the furniture to face the window or television would make more sense.  

Photos of the prison and the people who worked or were jailed there adorn the wall that connects to the bathroom.   

The bathroom in this room is exceptionally large. I had suspected that the metal bars made it an accessible room, though on reflection, the presence of a bath and none of the other accessibility features meant it wasn’t. I certainly would not expect to see a bathroom this large in every room. In-room amenities were by ‘Arran’, a Scottish-based aromatics company that produces the soap, shower gel, and shampoo for Malmaison. I wasn’t familiar with this brand beforehand. No other amenities were provided, as is becoming more common, and the hotel did not advertise these as being available on request.  

Dining 

Malmaison provided both dinner and breakfast meal service during this stay. Dinner surprised me in how good it was since I usually have lower expectations for hotel restaurants.  Across the three courses, I sampled the excellent scallops and shrimp for the starter; a well-cooked medium rare steak for the main; while the dessert was the weakest with an okay sticky toffee pudding. On this Saturday night visit, the restaurant was extremely busy, but service remained speedy.  

Onto breakfast and this was a mixed bag. The continental breakfast had quite a wide selection, but the quality should be improved, including the pastries, which did not feel much better than what can be found in a supermarket bakery section. It also costs £24, which feels excessive, and I highly doubt many people would pay specifically for just the continental option. 

The property makes up for the breakfast quality gap with some of their wider selection for £3 more, dubbed ‘hot stuff’. We tried both the Eggs Royale and Eggs California, which tasted fantastic and aligned closer to the high-quality meal we had the night prior. If you’re visiting, pay the extra cash to get a much tastier breakfast.  

Conclusion 

This was a speedy visit to Oxford, but I was pleased I opted for Malmaison. The location is excellent with easy walking distance to all the key sights in the city, while the hotel building and adjacent castle are a destination in their own right. The room was spacious, comfortable and had the features you would expect from a hotel of this standard. Food was mostly good, even if the dessert and continental breakfast could be improved.  

Pricing peaks anywhere from a low of £120 to as high as £500 on some dates – as with any dynamically priced property, you can judge the value for yourself. The rough average of £200 per night seems fair to me. Malmaison infrequently offers package discount deals with inclusive breakfast and dinner across all their properties (which are usually shared on sites such as HotUKDeals), which can offer some exceptional value to visit this historic and distinctive property.